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In a few weeks Laurie and I will be going for another ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby. I have heard so many mixed feelings about this. We have been told by many that there is nothing better than getting a surprise at birth. This may be true, however, to us it is a surprise enough that we have actually conceived and we feel extremely blessed.
Although I say we have waited over 7 long years for this moment, it may surprise you then to hear me say that we have actually been here before.
In December 2010, Laurie and I conceived a baby and we were at 16 weeks, this exact same point. I had just moved to Broken Hill for work and Laurie was still living in Sydney tying up a few loose ends before coming out to join me. We had a scan at 10 weeks and everything appeared fine. On the 19th December 2010, Laurie rang me and said that she was spotting…Being worried we decided that it would be best for her to go to the hospital to ensure everything was ok. I flew out straight away to meet her.
The following day we had an ultrasound and the news was distressing. The baby had in fact died and Laurie was diagnosed with a rare condition called a partial molar pregnancy. This is where cysts grow in the placenta and the baby does not form properly. Partial molars are quite serious because the cysts can turn tumourous and the effects on the mother can be devastating. Over the next 12 months Laurie’s blood levels had to be monitored closely to ensure her HCG levels decreased and remained low. During this time we had felt as though our whole world had been taken away from us. I will share with you a couple of lines from my Journal.
“I hope everything is ok with Laurie. I love her so much and I am really worried about her. Tomorrow she has to go to the hospital and have a curette. We lost our little baby, our hearts are broken and our dreams on hold. I only pray that we will have the opportunity to get another chance. My head is still aching from all the tears; I know God has a plan for us I just don’t know what”.
I still get emotional reading this, for us it has been a long hard road. Watching our friends and families have babies and wondering if we will ever get that same opportunity, for me personally this has probably been hardest. Here we are now 3 years later and so far everything in this pregnancy looks good. I still love Laurie more so than ever and we are still searching for what God has in plan for us. I do know one thing though. He has given us that other chance!
So in reality we have waited a long time for this moment and we will cherish it more than ever. With our busy life, time together is one thing that we don’t have a lot of (I hear it will only get worse when the baby comes). However, this week we did have the chance to spend a little time together in the beautiful Hunter Valley. Documenting Laurie’s pregnancy journey has reaffirmed my love for her and looking at her photos makes me feel all giddy inside like a little school boy with a crush…I love you more than ever Laurie!
